When half of your heart resides halfway around the world, it's inevitable that your emotions are not exactly... Regular. Some days will be better than others, some will be worse. You'll have good days and bad days.
Tuesday was a bad day.
Several months into dating Mike, midway through our not-exactly-normal relationship, I realized that as happy as I can be as long as I am on my own (which is pretty happy!), I'll never be able to be as happy as I am when we are together. The happiness threshold, we'll call it, can only be so high when we're apart.
The opposite applies with unhappiness. As long as we're together, I can't be that unhappy. But when we're not... Safe to say, it can be hard. People say that when it rains, it pours. When one thing goes wrong or when I'm having a bad day, the fact that Mike is so far away becomes all the more evident, and leaves me feeling worse. It could be a stupid thing, trivial in the grand scheme. But big or small, all upsets have the same result: they leave me feeling lonely and sad, and way worse than I should.
But for all the bad days, there are numerous good days as well. Great days, even-- A perk of being in love, I suppose. And I know that in less than three months, those bad days will decrease drastically in occurrence. But for now, I try to remind myself that it's okay to be sad sometimes, as long as I'm not wallowing (word to the wise: no one likes a wallow-er). It's the ups and downs that make life, life after all, so you might as well embrace it, the good days and the bad.
*Excuse the abnormally moody post... Your regularly scheduled happy programming will resume tomorrow!